Early morning antics of my cats caught my attention- they brought a young sparrow into the house and were enjoying playtime with it. I easily retrieved the tiny bird from the youngest cats’ mouth and held it gently in my hands, cupping it into safety. His eyes met mine and watched me intently as I carried him outside and placed him into the bushes of safety. The cats roam the house with disgust. I checked later and the little sparrow had flown away nowhere to be found.

In God’s world we are all little sparrows- battered by life, sometimes broken, or merely stunned needing a few moments of safety to regain our courage to fly away and try again.

This lesson is not lost on me as I navigate the world of grief and loss of a sibling. This is a new and different type of grief for me, it is one filled with childhood memories, a person who has known me all of my life has left for the other side. Our relationship was difficult as she battled with her demons -ones that never quite resolved. So, I dig deep into forgiveness and letting go and move forward into parts unknown, a world without her physical presence.

In the Fall we will have a memorial service for her in her hometown where she was well loved as she contributed much to the welfare of the community. They do not know the sister that I know, they do not understand the depth of the richness of her life, both sides of her. They do not understand the complexity of her being the way my brothers and I do.  They did not navigate the trauma of her childhood that flavored her entire existence.  They do not know her, only part of her.

It has been said we come here to grow and become and in doing so we face challenges that break open our humanness to allow our soul to grow. There is no good or bad in the Afterlife, or so I am told.  There is only learning from our choices, expanding our selves to become more, be more and be closer to the source of creation, Love/God.  We all have a spark of the Divine within us, and it is up to us to ignite it and shine it in this world. I often tell my hospice patients as they are letting go that they are one of God’s favorites- because I believe we are All God’s favorites, each bringing some element back to him to expand the creation of Love.  We are all little broken sparrows that once we leave this world can soar because we will heal in the Afterlife in ways we cannot here.

I pray for my sister’s healing, and mine and my brothers because we all love each other deeply despite the challenges.